October 25, 2012

Decisions

I have never been one to be great at making decisions.
I married my husband & that was a wonderful decision.
I decided to become a nurse, which I feel was the right decision.
However, my career has me stressed right now to say the least.
I have been working weekend nights for one year now.
I work every friday, saturday, & sunday night.
Yes, I work when my husband is off.
I work when our families have get togethers & dinners.
I work when Jason races.
I work basically when "normal" people are at home.
It has its positives & negatives.
I am now stuck trying to figure out the which out weighs the other.
By working on weekends, I'm off monday through thursday every week.
It's very easy to make doctor appointments, hair appointments, etc.
However, I'm home alone at those times.
I have no hobbies.
I get very bored & very lonely.
I find myself sleeping a lot & feel as though I'm in some kind of rut or funk.
Jason makes comments all the time that he wishes I worked during the week so we could go places on the weekends.
He makes statements like, "well if you didn't work every weekedend, we could go to the beach".
I work with such wonderful people that have taught me so so much.
We are close & we work as a team.
I started off my nursing career working week nights.
I hated it.
I didn't hate when I worked, I hated one particular person at work.
She was very hateful & not a very good person to work with.
I was miserable & I really think she was the reason.
Another thing about working during the week is that I won't have a set schedule like I do now.
One week I may work mon, tue, wed...one week I may work mon, wed, thur...etc.
And one week I may work mon, wed, fri.
Thats one of the negatives that I really don't like.
I will also be taking a pay cut.
I make more money for working weekend nights.
About $11 more an hour.
Thats a pretty big deal I think.
I say all this because I am torn.
I don't know what to do.
The lady that I mentioned above that I hated when I worked week nights is now gone.
She no longer works at the hospital.
My husband I think would be more happy with me working week nights so we can be together on the weekends.
I however, have absolutely no idea what to do.
I talked with him tonight while we were in bed & he said that he wanted me to stay on weekends if thats what makes me happy.
But, I want us both to be happy.
We put almost 20,000 miles on our car when I worked during the week.
Since I've been working on the weekends, we have put 5,000 miles on the car.
By the time Jason gets off work during the week, we don't have time to go anywhere.
I wish this were an easy decision.
I know if people are reading this, you really don't give a rip.
I wanted to post this because I want to remember important things in my life.
And this to me is important.
Right now my gut is telling me that I should give week nights a try again.
However, it is 3am & my brain isn't functioning at its best.
I will think on this some more tomorrow & talk with Jason some more about it.

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