Since I have blogged last, some things have changed in my life. One being that we got another fur-baby! Her name is Chloe. I love her to pieces. I also found out where I will be working for good in the hospital. I'm not on orientation anymore. I work on a medical-surgical floor.
This is my Chloe girl! =)
I want to become a better person. I think I'm already a good person, but, I want to be BETTER. I want people to be around me and think "man I wish I could be more like her". That's what I want. I want my faith and happiness to rub off on people. I want to change peoples lives. Not just medically. Don't ask me how to do that, but, that's what I want. I want to worry, stress, and be anxious LESS and LIVE MORE. I want to read my bible everyday and pray multiple times a day. I want this to be natural for me. Not something I have to make myself sit down and do. I want to be a better wife. I want to start eating better and drinking more water. I want a family, yes, I want a family right now. I know this probably sounds crazy, but, this is what I want. I want these things.
I have a little problem called "participatory anxiety". It runs my life. I LET it run my life. It brings me down and takes away my happiness at times. It hurts because I cause this to myself. I make myself feel this way. It has gotten better, but I want it to go away completely. I don't want it running me anymore. I want to find a way to make it go away. I have gotten better about talking myself through things and making myself see.."look you are doing this to yourself". I need to stop worrying about whats going to happen tomorrow and start living today. That's exactly what I need to do. However, it's easier said than done.
I want to start doing the FlyLady thing...
What I did today:
This morning J took Buddy to the vet before work. He has something viral and is on antibiotics. I went to lunch with my good friend P at a little deli on Main St. Then, we went in a few little stores. I bought nothing except a key chain! GO ME! haha. As soon as she brought me home, Chloe and I went to the shop for a little while and road to the store with J for a snack. Now I am back home and need to be straightening up and doing a little laundry. Instead, I'm doing this. Typical me. Anyways, we have no plans yet for this evening. We will probably get something to eat and then maybe go visit my parents for a little bit.
How I feel right now: OK. I have many things I WANT to do. I HOPE I can do them all.